Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from June, 2022

99 Jokes Quotes

I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church. Paul Lynde Polite conversation is rarely either. Fran Lebowitz My main point is to be funny if I can slip a message in there, fine. Flip Wilson The funny thing is I'm not bothered or sad about being on my own - after all I've never had a husband. Francesca Annis A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know. Laurence J. Peter I show them the funny part, the silly part, the laughing part, the crazy part and then the really deep, deep part where I'm talking from my heart to these people. Because I've been through everything they've been through. Richard Simmons Funny enough , if you are looking at people these days who are putting Botox in their face and getting all sorts of plastic surgery, we look at them and go, I can tell you've had Botox. I can tell you've had plastic surgery. You look really strange to me. But no one's saying anything. We&#

99 Hilarious Quotes

It's funny how intimate it feels to get a text. Sophie Ellis Bextor We all know how funny Morrissey is. Actually, you know what? I say that sarcastically. His songs are some of the funniest songs I've ever heard in my life. I mean, really. I mean, not that the 'Girlfriend in a Coma' is, like, really funny. Zach Galifianakis If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job. Woody Allen A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often. Oliver Herford I may be a living legend, but that sure don't help when I've got to change a flat tire. Roy Orbison Literature has drawn a funny perimeter that other art forms haven't. Jonathan Safran Foer I intend to live forever. So far, so good. Steven Wright Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. Don Marquis This is the great thing about Northern Ireland. I walk down the street and people stop me and say things like, 'I know you. You're that wee go

99 Funny Quotes

 If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny. Calvin Trillin Nothing's funny about someone who's successful. Drew Carey I have no idea what I'm going to say when I stand up to give a toast. But I do know that anything I say I find funny. Don Rickles He taught me housekeeping when I divorce I keep the house. Zsa Zsa Gabor People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant. Ellen DeGeneres And regardless of the fact that in this country, certainly in the arts, we treat comedy as a second-class citizen, I've never thought of it that way. I've always thought it to be important. The last time I looked, the Greeks were holding up two masks. I've always thought of it not only as having equal value, but as the craft of it, being funny. Jeff Daniels I think being funny is not anyone's first choice. Woody Allen It's funny that I got to do 'On the Road' becaus

99 Funniest Quotes

 A funny thing happens in real estate. When it comes back, it comes back up like gangbusters. Barbara Corcoran Design is a funny word. Some people think design means how it looks. But of course, if you dig deeper, it's really how it works. Steve Jobs It's funny, as you live through something you're not aware of it. Maya Lin It's funny, in a way the actor is a writer. It's not like the two things are so separate as to be like apples and oranges. The writer and the actor are one. Sam Shepard You know, you can touch a stick of dynamite, but if you touch a venomous snake it'll turn around and bite you and kill you so fast it's not even funny. Steve Irwin It's not so much what you learn about Mumbai, it's what you learn about yourself, really. It's a funny old hippie thing, but it's true as well. You find out a lot about yourself and your tolerance, and about your inclusiveness. Danny Boyle I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. R

99 Quotes on Friends

 Friendship is two-sided. It isn't a friend just because someone's doing something nice for you. That's a nice person. There's friendship when you do for each other. It's like marriage - it's two-sided. John Wooden When I was growing up, my mother was always a friend to my siblings and me (in addition to being all the other things a mom is), and I was always grateful for that because I knew she was someone I could talk to and joke with, and argue with and that nothing would ever harm that friendship. Marlo Thomas Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity. Khalil Gibran Perfect friendship is the friendship of men who are good, and alike in excellence for these wish well alike to each other qua good, and they are good in themselves. Aristotle I am proud to represent these men and women who empower people in developing nations and promote the Peace Corps mission of peace and friendship. These volunteers are making major strides to improve th

99 Fear Quotes

 Do not fear mistakes. You will know failure. Continue to reach out. Benjamin Franklin No passion so effectually robs the mind of all its powers of acting and reasoning as fear. Edmund Burke We're taught to be ashamed of confusion, anger, fear and sadness, and to me they're of equal value to happiness, excitement and inspiration. Alanis Morissette The Cuban people still live in constant fear of a brutal totalitarian regime that has demonstrated time and again its utter disregard for basic human dignity. The fight for a free Cuba has gone on for far too long. Mitt Romney I get so nervous on stage I can't help but talk. I try. I try telling my brain: stop sending words to the mouth. But I get nervous and turn into my grandma. Behind the eyes it's pure fear. I find it difficult to believe I'm going to be able to deliver. Adele A lot of people fear death because they think that so overwhelming an experience has to be painful, but I've seen quite a few deaths, and, w